I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
