if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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