Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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