but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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