we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
