i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
