quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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