He disabled his match.com account in front of me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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