i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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