Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Randomize
