I just cut my nipple shaving
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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