I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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