Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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