We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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