I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
