If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
