Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
