Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
