When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
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So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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