i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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