mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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