You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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