you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
