we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
