no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
