Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize