they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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