you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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