Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
