The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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