I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
