Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
