You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize