is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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