We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
