i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
