Texts From Last Night

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...

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  (519): she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up... http://tfl.nu/djzy
  Replies (19) Good night (898) Bad night (9904)
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  (845): View more from New York

  my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe

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  (845): my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe http://tfl.nu/yy5r
  Replies (10) Good night (1604) Bad night (4523)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.

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  (215): I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns. http://tfl.nu/6hbs
  Replies (9) Good night (4319) Bad night (1044)
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  (619): View more from California

  surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.

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  (619): surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk. http://tfl.nu/u5eo
  Replies (4) Good night (1314) Bad night (3450)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.

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  (832): I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see. http://tfl.nu/uq0v
  Replies (11) Good night (2407) Bad night (1211)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on

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  (506): Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on http://tfl.nu/ntvw
  Replies (8) Good night (5877) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Sex on roller skates

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Floating mattress

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Tie

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  (301): Sex on roller skates (202): Floating mattress (301): Tie http://tfl.nu/1xsm
  Replies (7) Good night (1953) Bad night (666)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.

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  (717): Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself. http://tfl.nu/4nxp
  Replies (10) Good night (2219) Bad night (876)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.

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  (860): Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now. http://tfl.nu/0rnz
  Replies (4) Good night (2910) Bad night (723)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop

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  (609): You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop http://tfl.nu/nra3
  Replies (7) Good night (1107) Bad night (762)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?

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  (717): I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen? http://tfl.nu/h6xb
  Replies (10) Good night (545) Bad night (918)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur

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  (610): All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur http://tfl.nu/mu3r
  Replies (0) Good night (797) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds

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  (865): I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds http://tfl.nu/ryhj
  Replies (2) Good night (642) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.

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  (412): his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on. http://tfl.nu/3l4h
  Replies (3) Good night (585) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?

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  (727): why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter? http://tfl.nu/8q6n
  Replies (4) Good night (540) Bad night (267)

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