Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"