Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes

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  (908): But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes http://tfl.nu/c86w
  Replies (24) Good night (3467) Bad night (750)
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  (310): View more from California

  The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was

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  (310): The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was http://tfl.nu/84hp
  Replies (3) Good night (2496) Bad night (715)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.

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  (517): Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite. http://tfl.nu/8on0
  Replies (7) Good night (1030) Bad night (2707)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.

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  (651): whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it. http://tfl.nu/g1hs
  Replies (5) Good night (5651) Bad night (727)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.

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  (416): She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me. http://tfl.nu/1tg4
  Replies (16) Good night (1576) Bad night (5095)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.

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  (903): i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups. http://tfl.nu/yjoi
  Replies (5) Good night (1326) Bad night (821)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.

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  (770): You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building. http://tfl.nu/mjb6
  Replies (18) Good night (982) Bad night (2367)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?

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  (970): Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears? http://tfl.nu/m0sz
  Replies (4) Good night (851) Bad night (1122)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.

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  (508): He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is. http://tfl.nu/qf8i
  Replies (8) Good night (902) Bad night (1622)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?

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  (757): SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get? http://tfl.nu/a9m1
  Replies (12) Good night (1307) Bad night (1328)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.

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  (765): I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him. http://tfl.nu/g1zb
  Replies (7) Good night (1520) Bad night (628)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka

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  (775): If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka http://tfl.nu/1i63
  Replies (9) Good night (1728) Bad night (858)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  all my money is vodka money

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  I have never read a truer sentence.

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  (734): all my money is vodka money (1-734): I have never read a truer sentence. http://tfl.nu/947v
  Replies (0) Good night (913) Bad night (383)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.

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  (602): Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP? (602): Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know. http://tfl.nu/k0wt
  Replies (3) Good night (548) Bad night (493)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.

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  (802): Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks. http://tfl.nu/vsd9
  Replies (3) Good night (765) Bad night (369)

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