Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...