Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver