Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
zippers are such a cool invention
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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