Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.

Fav 4 971 1185
share tweet
(604): View more from British Columbia

The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.

Fav 57 1626 6920
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(313): View more from Michigan

theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.

Fav 16 1936 3556
share tweet
(551): View more from New Jersey

Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK

Fav 6 3998 1236
share tweet
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.

Fav 8 5472 1417
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?

(734): View more from Michigan

She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.

Fav 33 1359 3246
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.

Fav 27 8456 1584
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(818): View more from California

Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.

Fav 4 1176 539
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag

Fav 1 15 22
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT