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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.

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• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Dude, you are the most awesome.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.

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• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve

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• (716): View more from New York

  Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.

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• (585): View more from New York

  The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.

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