I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
