I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize