Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
