just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
