East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
