even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
