guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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