either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He kissed a someone with a penis
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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