I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
