...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
