I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
