You work out of a Hotel?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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