Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This show inspires me to have sex in space
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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