im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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