so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You made out with two different species that night
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
