It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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