I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
