I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You can't motorboat a personality
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
is it fun? or sober?
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