she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
