after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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