Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
