dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize