therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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