Buhtt sex?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
