I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
only if we run a train.
done.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize