your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
