Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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