I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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