Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
